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 | | | Relationships
Try living together before getting married
Take a test run. Test the goods before you marry and live together first. With divorce rates increasing over time, this seems to be a logical response to the condition. If you're not willing to try this, I recommend you stay unmarried. Marriage is not what it used to be. It's time to realize this. | | | | | | Richard in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma | Tips Published: 1
Forward to Friend | Post Comment | Comments (29)
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I was under the impression that there are studies showing that people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those that don't.
Daniel from Peterborough., Cambs. | Tips Published: 0
05:19 AM, January 24, 2007 PST |
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it's interesting that the odds of getting a divorce do go up if you live together prior to marriage. Daniel is right on this one...
Sean from West Chester, Ohio | Tips Published: 0
12:05 PM, January 24, 2007 PST |
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"Test the goods"???? I thought marriage was a partnership, not a test drive.
Carrol from Paso Robles, Ca | Tips Published: 1
03:12 PM, January 25, 2007 PST |
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Hmmm...maybe the divorce rate has gone up because more and more people *are* living together first? Maybe they become used to the idea that there isn't any real commitment as long as they're just living together, then when they do marry, not much changes, and it isn't taken seriously. I think that's part of the problem...marriage isn't taken seriously.
Mark from St. John's, NL | Tips Published: 0
01:34 PM, February 05, 2007 PST |
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I and relationship experts (ie Dr. Laura) agree that living together is a catalyst for divorce. This does not allow for the change of roles from girl/boyfriend to husband/wife. Futhermore, there is no incentive for committment. Why buy the cow.....
Christy from Fairview Heights, IL | Tips Published: 2
12:17 PM, February 08, 2007 PST |
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I think both Richard and Mark are right: It takes a couple of years of living in the other person's shoes for a couple to know if they're 'okay'. People *do* change and it's only through total commitment to making a relationship that one can aim for a good outcome. This argument has so many dimensions (probably all of them right, depending on the couple) that you could dedicate a whole web site to the pros and cons. A good tip/subject, Michael!
Malcolm from Frankston, Victoria, Australia | Tips Published: 0
05:11 AM, February 12, 2007 PST |
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...making a relationship *successful*...
A note for the site designers- How about the ability to edit one's own comment(s)?
Malcolm from Frankston, Victoria, Australia | Tips Published: 0
05:14 AM, February 12, 2007 PST |
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I can't rate this as non-useful, because you're entitled to your opinion. However, I won't rate it as useful, either, because I *totally* disagree with it--that is, unless you're talking about living together as platonic roomies. Can you control your hormones? It sounds to me as if you simply want free milk without buying the cow.
Ainsley Jo from Anderson, Indiana | Tips Published: 1
12:24 PM, February 12, 2007 PST |
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The rather obvious error in comparing divorce rates is: people who live together first are different from those who don't - they're less religious, less likely to have children and less traditional. Apples and oranges. The real question is what percent are living happily together years after marriage. My very religious parents stuck together in a hell marriage just because they didn’t believe in divorce. Is that what you really want?
Roger from Martinsburg, wv | Tips Published: 0
06:02 AM, September 25, 2007 PST |
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Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Bad way of thinking.
Amber from Norman, OK | Tips Published: 2
11:29 PM, October 29, 2007 PST |
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Living together doesn't really matter or apply to the rate of divorce. What matter is if both really love each other, committed to their vows. Both has to be more forgiving, understanding and willing to workout any issues that comes along that looks like it will wreck their marriage.
Arnel from Lancaster, CA | Tips Published: 0
09:06 PM, November 02, 2007 PST |
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People are not keeping the vows that they make before God. Their hearts are not in the right place with God, and people don't marry for love. Most people marry for reasons. Naturally, if they are not right with God, they are not going to be right with each other. You have some married couples that are unevenly yoked.
Living together before marriage is just plain wrong. If you're brave enough to lay down with them and be one flesh with them no matter what, then you can marry them too.
Gail from New Bern, NC | Tips Published: 0
07:51 PM, January 20, 2008 PST |
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People like this are what is wrong with this country. I didn't live with my wife before I got married and we are still together.
Marc from Erie, PA | Tips Published: 1
07:36 AM, January 26, 2008 PST |
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Me and my boyfriend have lived together for over 2 years and are getting married in 2009. I say this idea works for some but some can't quite do this. So to this I only say that it will only work for some people. and to Gail's comment I simply say that is your perception some people are not religious so there for they go perfect with other nonreligious people.
rachel from fort wayne, IN | Tips Published: 0
12:42 AM, April 10, 2008 PST |
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and on another note my bf and his ex-wife didn't live together first and guess what i did say ex didn't i.... so i think it depends more on the commitment of both to make a marriage work not whether they did or didn't live together first.
rachel from fort wayne, IN | Tips Published: 0
12:47 AM, April 10, 2008 PST |
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What!!!! Do you not know that fornicators (Those having sexual relations by mutual agreement not married to each other) will not inherit God's Kingdom. 1 Corinthians 6:9. This applies whether you are religious or not!!!!
Eugene from Huntsville, Al. | Tips Published: 0
03:47 AM, June 12, 2008 PST |
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What if the living together trial doesn't work with #1? Do you go on to #2, #3 or #12? When does it stop--when the babies start coming or when your reputation catches up with you.
RUTH from BLUE SPRINGS, MO | Tips Published: 0
11:52 AM, July 21, 2008 PST |
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Thus, the quick marriage will calm the heart and avoid problem.di religion also forbids us to do. So quickly adultery marriage is already mandatory for adults
debut from Yogyakarta, Yogyakarta | Tips Published: 0
01:29 AM, December 16, 2008 PST |
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The original tip implies that living together before marriage will lower the divorce rate. However, more couples living together and higher divorce have risen parallel to one another.
Jay from Bulington, WI | Tips Published: 1
04:39 PM, January 13, 2009 PST |
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haha. you need to learn your info before posting "tips." Living with them before will not help. What will help is learning how to make a relationship work. Relationships are work and many people don't put the effort into them. That is why the divorce rate is so high. Also, not enough people include God into their relationship and pray for help and guidance when needed.
kyle from Fairbury, IL | Tips Published: 15
04:02 PM, February 23, 2009 PST |
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I live together before marriage is a big mistake, in which women are disadvantaged because of lack of commitment or a marriage between them does not make grown men feel because there is not the full responsibility.
Susi from Garut, Jawa Barat | Tips Published: 0
01:48 PM, August 10, 2009 PST |
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Wow some of the people on this website are really putting a bad name out there for Christians. It's fine to have your own faith based opinions, but it is not right for you to draw conclusions. That is God's place to judge not yours. A good relationship that includes commitment will have more to do with the amount of work both partners put into the relationship, and how they feel about eachother, not just whether or not they live together or not. Generalizations are dangerous.
Kaitlin from Greensburg, pa | Tips Published: 0
07:21 PM, October 19, 2009 PST |
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Pre-marital counseling isn't a bad idea. Doesn't have to be a religious figure, but sure can be. Ask several older trusted couples that have been together a long time what they love about each other the most, and advice on issues that are bound to come up in a relationship, and how they have handled these issues.
annie from missoula, mt | Tips Published: 0
07:31 AM, July 18, 2010 PST |
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If one is on thier second or third relationship I think it is important to come up with some things they may have been able to do to change things, or realize they never would have been able to, and most important try not to hold grudges from past relationships, and try to forgive if you have to. Just accept the fact it did not work out, and live life.
annie from missoula, mt | Tips Published: 0
07:33 AM, July 18, 2010 PST |
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Carrying around anger and hate just take way too much energy, Something it took me at least 30 years to figure out, but I did and a load has been lifted, by looking back and seeing that both my parter(2 in my case), and I could have done things alot different.
annie from missoula, mt | Tips Published: 0
07:34 AM, July 18, 2010 PST |
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I just take it as I learned and grew through both relationships. I also, realized I will never stop learning and growing as a person. So I guess my opinion is it doesn't matter if couple lives together before marrage, however I am a Sociologist and studies do state the opposite.
annie from missoula, mt | Tips Published: 0
07:35 AM, July 18, 2010 PST |
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I say if you have questions, do research. It sounds silly on thing like "love", but when a person is first in love, connecting with a person the dopamine levels of the brain are so high it really is like a stimulant, and people don't think as clear with high endorphines running through their system. Anyway I could probably write a scientific theisis on this subject, so gotta go. Good luck to all.
annie from missoula, mt | Tips Published: 0
07:35 AM, July 18, 2010 PST |
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my boyfriend and i had a choice. Put a down payent on a house, or get married. The latter seemed more logical. We love eachother and are very exited for the day we do get married. But in this day and age, the cost for a wedding is, for some people, outrageous. I dont beleive in a god who would judge us for these matters. God is love, peace and purity. Not judgment. :)
Whitney from Port Alberni, | Tips Published: 0
08:42 AM, January 05, 2011 PST |
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This is just so wrong...I'm so sorry to tell but marriage is not "like" a car but a commitment. If you're in doubt of entering into a lifetime commitment with a person...then don't get married.
Ariane Ruby from Zamboanga City, Zamboanga del Sur | Tips Published: 0
02:28 AM, August 05, 2011 PST |
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